Entry #2. Understanding Yourself

    Ever have a situation where you get triggered, seemingly for no reason, by someone's response; or maybe something causes you unexpected anxiety? I am here to tell you, there is always a root to one's triggers no matter how hard it is to pinpoint. I have been learning about behavioral patterns and different human habits. I am by no means a professional, but I thought I would just share something I have learned. There are so many different studies and theories on human behavior, but there is one in particular I wanted to write about called attachment theory.

   What people experience as a child, form the ages of 0 to 5, contributes the most to the way they respond in relationships as adults. Attachment theory, first established by John Bowlby, was an observation of children's reactions on separation from their parents. Bowlby's collogue, Mary Ainsworth, started a study on the children's responses to their mothers leaving the room. In doing this she found a correlation with how they developed relationships as they got older. Ainsworth discovered four attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, anxious-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. 

   Secure is seen as the ideal attachment style. People who are secure tend to be less anxious in relationships and social interactions. They display high self-esteem and high sociability. Anxious-preoccupied people are low in self-esteem. They tend to cling on to people and get worried that people will leave them because of something they have done. Anxious-avoidant people have high self-esteem but low sociability. They feel the need to detach themselves from others because they do not trust people. Finally, people who are fearful-avoidant show low self-esteem and sociability. They are anxious in all situations and do not trust themselves or others. 

    These attachment styles are formed in an individual at infancies, and are influenced greatly by their caregiver. Caregivers who are responsive to the child's needs raise children who are secure. If a child's needs are met with insensitivity from their caregivers they are likely to develop anxious-preoccupied, anxious-avoidant, or fearful-avoidant attachments. If you are interested in taking a test to see what category you are in here is a link.

    Most people do not understand why they get anxious in different situations. They might not realize the reasons behind their feelings or actions. By identifying their attachment style, it may help them pinpoint the root of their feelings. Learning about my attachment style has helped me understand myself more, and I hope it helps someone else too!